Never Lose You

    You never know where you’ll end up in a day, a week, a month, even a year. As I am sitting here writing this I can honestly say I cannot believe this is my new life; my new journey. I am a single 25-year-old woman; who has a great job, a diploma in Interior Decorating, a great support system, a cute apartment, a good heart, and fire spirit.
    The past 5-6 months have been nothing, but an emotional roller-coaster. Today, I can honestly say I now truly realized I am the author of my own book. I decide what my next chapter is going to be.
    I understand that healing takes time, but what I didn’t realize until I spoke with my mom on the phone is that; I will only slow down my healing and growth process by going out and masking my pain in UNHEALTHY ways. As I was on the phone with my mom she said many things to me, but one thing hit me in the heart the most.
    She said:
    “Alyssa, what I am afraid of is you get to the point of hating yourself and you lose that good spirit. You lose yourself.”  
    I immediately broke down in tears because it took me years to become the person I am today. I fought so hard to love myself. I shredded weight, tears, and hair as I was blossoming into ME. One thing I know for sure is, I do not want to lose me. I never want to lose me, ever again.
    I took time out to reflect and give myself a self-assessment and I determined ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. No more masking my pain! As my mom stated, “it is okay to feel pain, it is okay to cry, it is okay to punch your pillow, it is okay to scream.” It is okay to feel your pain. Without pain, we cannot learn. We cannot grow into warriors. We cannot blossom. “You grow through what you go through.”
    You choose how you heal and grow. It is your decision to make, as it is your journey. Just pay attention to yourself and really know if what you are doing is bettering you or destroying you.
    Keep blossoming with me,

     

    September 18, 2018

    Self Confidence

    I am constantly being asked by so many women on how I achieve my self-confidence. This has not come easy, but once you work on yourself; nothing will stop you.

    There was a point where I hated myself, I had no self-worth, and I lacked self-love. When you are feeling down about yourself, you are truly unhappy; unfulfilled.

    It all started with “I AM” AFFIRMATIONS in the mirror. I would say the following words in the mirror daily:

    “I am beautiful, I am worthy, I am loving, I am caring, I love myself, I love you, Alyssa.” 

    Do you think I believed any of that? NOPE. I cried my eyes out every time I would say those things.  Eventually, I started to believe those words.

    I started to see my worth. I started to see a different glow in my eyes. My hair started growing. Everything around me started blossoming.

    Confidence in a woman is beyond sexy and attractive.

    Another way I achieved self-confidence is by removing the factor of “pleasing everyone” and “caring about what people think of me.”

    I am not here to please everyone, I am here to please myself.

    I do not care what people think of me as long as when I lay my head down at night, I am happy with myself.

    Those opinions of others do not pay my bills. They do not provide the roof over my head, the clothes on my back, the food on my table. THAT’S ALL ME.

    Honestly, if you are lacking self-confidence & self-love you must get right within. It does not matter what you have on the outside, because your insides are dying.

    Change your mindset and believe in yourself. YOU ARE WORTHY, BEAUTIFUL, AND LOVING. Say those I am Affirmations in the mirror.

    Get in front of the mirror, look yourself in the eye, and believe what you say. If you want to change and believe in yourself you will cry while you say those affirmations.

    This is not a destination, it is a journey. You will constantly be working on yourself. I say my affirmations every day! I put sticky notes on my mirror!

    We all have insecurities (men & woman), but start to embrace those things you “do not love” about yourself; you will find your self-confidence.

    Keep blossoming with me,

    August 22, 2018

    Waiting to Exhale!

    I can be alone with myself, but feeling lonely is one of the hardest things I have been dealing with. Feeling lonely in many different aspects of my life. When you spend the last 7 years with someone, the two of you become a united force. EVERYTHING in my life CHANGED. My daily routine is completely different. Let me take you back a couple months ago…

    Back in May I wrote two blog posts Life Update and Getting Through. In those, I did not mention Thomas and I separating. However, I went on social media and announced the reason I was depressed was because of our separation. This new journey has not been easy. It has been messy, confusing, hurtful, loving, guiding, uplifting, and honestly inspiring.

    I started dating T when I was 17 years old, I was a damn teenager I didn’t even know who I was. All I knew is that I wanted him in my life and would do anything to keep it that way. I’ve learned so much from our relationship I am beyond grateful for having to get to spend 7 years with him. We had many lows and many highs. Each of those experiences and other life experiences shaped me into the woman I am today.

    I don’t even know what to write or what to tell you. All I can tell you is this, never stop! Whatever life obstacle you are going through in your life, don’t stop fighting. YOU GOT THIS! THERE IS A WAY OUT. The way you get out is by fighting! You fight for yourself. You take care of you. You level up as a person. I have and will still make mistakes as I figure out this new way to live life. One thing I do know is where I was a couple months ago (depressed, scared, & lonely) I will not go back in that hole. I dug myself out of course with the help of my family and friends, but I had to do the hard work. I had to face my truths. My fuck ups and why I was in that space in the first place. Once I started to face my own sh*t, I was then able to grow very quickly.

    Right now, I am just living my life. There are still days where I get sad and need to cry, but I don’t go into the dark space where I can’t get out of bed. I just feel sad and ask myself “what is a healthy way to get better” I will then go for a run or surround myself with my loved ones.

    Just keep fighting for you, love yourself! Self-love is always the answer!

    Sorry for being MIA for a very long time, I will get back into it. I promise.

    Keep blossoming with me,

    July 14, 2018

    Getting Through

    If you read my latest blog post here, you would know I am going through a hard time on my journey. I have to thank EVERYONE who has been reaching out to me with positive words. I truly appreciate it. As I stated I see good days and bad days.

    This morning was a bad morning, but I am feeling a lot better. I wanted to share how I am getting through this. I honestly feel like I am not, but I am still here. One day I am like okay I am doing great, the next moment I am crying, the moment after I am angry going crazy, and right back to the beginning. This sh*t is hard, I am not going to be like oh hi everyone everything is great over here because it is not!

    When waking up this morning I was sad & did not feel well. I knew I needed a day to myself, so I took a personal day from work. So I was home today. Everything happens for a reason because a very old friend just happened to be in Worcester. We made plans & she came over. I didn’t even let her in my place because of how messy it is. We sat outside in my driveway & talked under the sun with ice cold water. She gave me an update on her life and I gave her an update on mine. Her explaining what she is going through, me listening, and taking in what she was saying opened my eyes to another life lesson; communication! I hated communicating over the phone or in person. I am the text me kind of girl. BUT now I am learning that texting is not the same. When speaking on the phone or in person you learn to listen. You can get your point across a lot better. As my friend was talking I was giving advice to her, but what I was telling her is exactly what I needed to be telling myself. She was my mirror as I too her.

    After she headed home I got to thinking. I am telling her and everyone else to get through, but how am I really getting through? I am getting through, but I feel like I am not moving ahead. I wrote down some notes and here they are…

    Music has helped me a lot. Whatever your feeling there is a song for it. You can relate on another level. I listen to whatever is going to make me feel good. Some songs are sad, happy, even mad. I also listen to random music I wouldn’t usually listen too. 

    I know I mentioned Family & Friends in my previous post, but talking to them as helped so much. Especially the older wise woman in my life. The advice I get from everyone I take and other stuff I don’t. I love being able to hear things from different people & different ages.

    The one thing everyone keeps telling me is to work on myself. Today right after I finished this post I focused my energy back on ME. I am important, I am worthy, I deserve happiness. I have to get back into life (as my Grammy says) AND I AM! I straightened up my house. I actually started eating again because my body was craving energy. I felt my body shaking as I was not putting much into it. ME NOT EATING, THAT STOPPED. I love myself enough & I need to take care of me.

    If I start to feel sad, I’ll come here to my blog, to my journal, or read a book to let out my sadness in a healthy way. If I get angry I need to go for a walk or run, something positive. When I am feeling happy I need to EMBRACE that. If I need to dance around my place I am going too.

     

    So that is how I am going to be getting through. If you have suggestions please let me know all is welcomed. Leave a comment down below, email me, or dm!

    Keep blossoming with me,

     

    May 3, 2018

    Life Update

    WELCOME BACK BLOSSOMS

    It’s been a long time since I sat down and just started writing. A lot has been going on in my life and I wanted to share with you, maybe some of you can relate.

    Update on Me

    Lately, I am dealing with something that I thought I wanted. I asked for something, spoke about it numerous times, and even wrote it down. The universe doesn’t speak English, its speaks frequency, therefore, I got exactly what I was feeling & putting out there. This has been a wake-up call for sure. I have learned so many life lessons in the last week. Not everything is rainbows and butterflies. Life can be going well for so long, then there is a curve in your journey, and you get lost. Be careful what you ask for!

    Life Lessons I’ve Learned 

    I’ve learned that no matter how hard things can get keep going! You are so much stronger than you think. I was in a thunderstorm & I could not see any sunshine. I was a MESS! I was crying, I was sick to my stomach, my chest was constantly tight. I was literally grabbing my skin & ready to pull my hair out. I was reading quotes back to back, looking for an answer. I didn’t clean my place, I wasn’t eating, all I had the energy for was laying down and crying. It has been tough, but I am now seeing the sunshine. You will make it through, I promise you. You have to focus your energy on the things that make you feel good. You can have your sad moments, but do not let them last too long. I did not mask my pain either, I wasn’t numbing it. I was feeling it. I could have easily had a glass of wine or a whole bottle who am I kidding. I wanted to face this pain head-on. I wanted to feel this and gosh I felt it! If you could have seen me, you would be like “who the heck is this girl?” My close friends kept telling me “this is not the Alyssa I know” for sure it was not. I was breaking out of something to become a better version of myself; a stronger me. So whatever you are going through remember it is to make you stronger. Hang on tight and keep fighting!

    I also learned that “materials” & “things” do not define us. I always knew that and I don’t consider myself materialistic, but I know I have a lot of things. It is so easy to get lost in the latest trends, designer shoes & handbags. Those “things” do not make you happy. Honestly, that fills a void and space. When I was going through my thunderstorm all I wanted to do was declutter. Looking around my place I kept saying there is too much stuff in here. When I was reading all those quotes I came across this “For the longest time, I thought I needed to be more organized. Now I know I just needed less stuff.” I was in shock when I read that. After seeing that, I started decluttering and de-owning. If there is no meaning to it, it has to go. I have been selling on Facebook Marketplace. I recommend using this if you want to sell something, quick turnarounds.

    Another life lesson learned is to surround yourself with people you truly love & who truly love you and want the best for you. This is very important. If you surround yourself with people who don’t have your best interest at heart, they will anchor you. They low-key love seeing you suffer. They will speak horribly about you, vibe on a bad frequency, and put that into the universe causing awful things for you. You will do the same to people if you do not truly care.

    A big one that I’ve learned is peace. Peace as in the calm of the storm. I was the type of person that when something bad was going on  (big or small) I acted so high strung and got upset easily. I would destroy everything in my path especially with my words and once you say something you cannot take it back. BE YOUR OWN PEACE! Once you can relax and just learn to stay calm during situations, you will get through them so much smoother. I am grateful I learned this and able to recognize it, to fix this. I was not peaceful.

    Going through this storm has made me face my truths and this is what life is all about. Facing your own sh*t, deprogramming yourself to become the BETTER version of you.

    The last thing I learned is that family & true friends will always be there. I have been surrounded by love. I feel like I am always the one who is strong and always trying to keep everyone together. But strong people break too and it is okay. My mom (hi, mommy) has been there for me through this entire storm. Every time I was crying and needed to talk to her, she answered that phone. Her advice, so soothing. Her wisdom, amazing. Her strength, incredible. If I did not have her I wouldn’t be sleeping at night and that is a fact. My Grandmother, my siblings, cousins, and friends were just there for me even if it was for 5 mins it helped me. Thank you for being the shoulder to lean on.

     

    To sum all of this up I would simply say KEEP GOING you will get to where you need to be. It is not easy, you will feel pain, you will hurt, but it is so rewarding in the end. I am not even at the end I still feel sad some days, but I see brighter days. We are strong!

    I truly hope this can help at least one of my readers.

    Keep blossoming with me

     

    May 2, 2018

    1st Day of Spring!

    Spring is officially here! Although there’s talk about another snow storm, I cannot wait for the warmer weather. When thinking about Spring I get such an incredible feeling within. What I love most about Spring is how everything begins to blossom

    Every living thing blossoms! Even you, yes you! If you have been going through some rough times (big or small) take a moment to breathe because now is your time. I know many of us had to let go of a few things these past couples of months. I’ve seen people let go of who they “were”. I’ve seen people letting go of people who no longer serve a purpose in their life. Whether that be a very close friend, girlfriend, or boyfriend. Stuff like this happens for you, not against you.

    What I love most is my perspective & I hope this will help you. Winter was here and during its time here many things came. Stormy weather, power outages, floodings, and many more. Imagine what our grass was going through. During winter, grass simply goes into a deep sleep. The growth slows down and many things die. During spring, once the soil hardens you can begin to slowly wake up your grass. You then start to see seeds being planted and those plants bloom.

    Imagine you were the grass. Your storms came, you shut down, & you were flooded with many different emotions. Because of this, you needed some time off from a lot of things to focus on you. Here we are now the first day of spring, you are slowly coming out of your space to embrace what is ahead. After learning what happened and understanding it you became stronger. Some of your seeds have already been planted & some need to be planted. I promise you, if you remain positive & happy you will blossom!

     

    Your journey is your journey. Do not rush through any phase of it, enjoy all of it.

    “Spring: a lovely reminder of how beautiful change can truly be.” 

    Blossom with me,

    March 20, 2018

    Valentine’s Day

    I hope you enjoyed your Valentine’s Day 🙂 I cannot believe the weather we have been getting. It makes me excited to know Spring is around the corner. I could really use warmer sunny days! 

    It has been some time since I shared my day with you. Every time I went to take my phone out to capture my day, I’d put it away. I wanted to just live in the moment and not stress about getting the perfect lighting, the perfect angle, and the perfect edit. But I am back with a game plan and ready to attack it. I have a Boston Trip coming up and I cannot wait to share it with you and introduce you to someone new! 

    ________________________________

    Thomas & I celebrated V Day two day’s straight this year. Wednesday night we went to dinner. As I am writing I just laughed a little because we made reservations at 4 different restaurants. The Italian restaurant we craved was completely booked as we decided to wait the last minute (yes, our fault). We had no idea what type of food we wanted as Italian was out of the option. After calling all 4 places to reserve our table we decided to just go with our all-time favorite here in Worcester – Bocado Tapas Wine BarI have raved about this place before, BUT even better now as I realized their menu has options for people who do not eat meat.

    We arrived a little early so they sat us at the bar to have a drink as we waited on the table. To start off the night we ordered a pitcher of the Mixed Berry Sangria. I think we took 2 sips and our table was ready, we didn’t wait too long. We sat at our table, looked over the menu, and started with the Bolas de Arroz Fritto. 

    The next dish that came out was for T, Hamburgesas de Wagyu.

    The dish after was Casamiento: sliced steak with rice, beans & vegetables, piquillo chimichurri sauce. I only ate the rice from the dish. I forgot to take a photo! The last two dishes were Berenjena a la Plancha: grilled Japanese eggplant, roasted sweet potato vinaigrette, crispy garlic and T’s Lobster Raviolis. HOWEVER, the Eggplant dish never made it to our table and they really tried to charge us for it.

    After laughing so much at dinner we headed home. 

    What I Wore to Dinner

    The Jumpsuit is from Zara, I got this when they had the 70% off Sale. I looked on their website & I am not seeing it anymore. The Burgandy Pointed Toe Shoes are from GoJane and the Clutch is from OldNavy, both are very old and not available online.

    _________________

    On Thursday (day two) we both slept in as it’s his day off. We got ready and headed to Nu Cafe for breakfast. I don’t think I ever mentioned them before on the blog. Nu is located here in Worcester and they have food for everyone. I love this cafe. I got an everything bagel with vegan cream cheese and a blue monkey smoothie: blueberries, bananas, fresh apple juice, coconut milk & agave. T got an egg and cheese on an everything bagel with a coffee. 

    What I Wore For The Day 

    Outfit Details

    Top: Zara, got it the same time as the jumpsuit. I cannot find it online.

    Blazer: HM, very old! I actually saw this on Poshmark.

    Jeans: HM, old as well lol. FashionNova has a lot of different styles here.

    Booties: Forever21 here.

    ___________

    We arrived at Natick for the mall and the movies. 

    Our first stop was Gucci. I really wanted a new wallet/card case. My current card case is from Target (years old) and needed to be replaced.

    Thomas, I know your reading this post as you read all of mine. THANK YOU SO MUCH!! 

    I then headed to Victoria Secret/Pink for a few things and I downloaded an app called PINK NATION. With this app I received 1 free pantie, $1.00 Face Mask, 1 free cup with a pizza flot (photo here) for the pool, and 1 free waterproof cell phone case. I was pretty happy 🙂 

    Shopping was over and it was time for the movie, Fifty Shades Freed! T has taken me to see the three films around v day, it was something I waited for and it sucks that the 50 Shades are over 🙁

    Once the movie ended we came home, changed into pj’s, and cuddled in bed watching tv.

    Enjoy your long weekend if you have Monday off 😉

    Pretty Lingerie Makes It All Better

    Valentine’s Day is next week & I am so excited. I have always loved February 14th, I am a hopeless romantic. 

    Every year Thomas goes ABOVE & BEYOND to make me feel special. He does every day even when I am being a brat.

    I feel like he knows that I am such a sucker for r o m a n c e he puts his heart into this day.

    Honestly, look what he did last year (click here). This year I know what we’re doing and it’s pretty casual; stay tuned for that.

    Valentine’s Day is all about love and looking sexy for your partner at the end of the night 😉 Ladies, you have asked where I purchase my lingerie and now I will tell all! Men, if you are here for gifting advice I will deliver! Please keep reading for my vday favorites and tricks to feeling sexy every day of the year!!

    For me when it comes to lingerie I try my best not to go overboard with spending the money on something I know I am not going to wear 24/7.

    You can have special pieces for certain occasions. Let’s start off with the luxury lingerie.

    My favorite is Agent Provocateur, click here it brings you right to their Valentine’s Collection. You can find something for a date night or breakfast in bed.

    Another place is Journelle, click here. I actually have never purchased anything from them. Their pieces are very casual with a little hint of spice 😉

    The last high-end place is La Perla click here. Love love love their V Day Collection. Although it’s a very high-end store it does not hurt to look. When shopping from here a little trick is to check out the SALE Section.

    As for the affordable places, you can check out places like Victoria Secret, Adore Me, Macy’s, Forever21, FasionNova, Amazon, Target, & even Walmart. Yes, Walmart. I have seen some really cute pieces in store and on the website.

    If your really tight on money or don’t want to spend a lot of money you probably have items you have worn before, that you can spice up to look different. Here are some tricks. Look at your matching bra and panties set; you can get a garter belt, thigh high stockings, or a sexy bathrobe. The black robe above is from FashionNova (here).

    I know many of you ladies out there have a few bralettes. Here is another tip. Find a sexy thong or boy shorts in a solid color that match the bralette, do your hair, put on a tiny bit of makeup, throw on some heels and you have a little outfit without spending too much money.

    I hope you have a wonderful day well spent with your loved one(s).

     

    February 8, 2018

    I am the Solution

    “Her heart may be guarded. She may be hesitant when it comes to love, but the woman with the highest wall built in front of her heart is often deserving of the greatest love.” – R.H. Sin 

    _____________________

    Not everyone suffers from having a guarded heart, but I sure do. To be honest this is one of the biggest obstacles I struggle with. I love and dislike that my heart is guarded. I love it because it is very easy for me to remove people or things with no purpose in my life. I dislike it because it makes me guarded with the people I love the most. I can give out all of my love in a healthy way, but will not accept love from people unless it is on my terms.

    Example: if Thomas wants to hug or kiss me and I don’t want him to at that moment I tell him not to touch me. I put a rejection stamp on his heart. To be honest it hurts me that I do that to him because he would never reject me.

    Blossoms, you know I love opening up with all of you. I love to face my truths and I am grateful I have Roses and Champagne to do so.

    After speaking with all the wonderful women in my life and getting their feedback on being guarded I have come to a realization.

    I am going tear my wall down and accept the love from my loved ones.

    Picture this; there is a line down the middle I am on one side my loved ones are on the other. Every single person on the other side is waiting for me to cross over and love me deeply. I am going to cross over and accept the love. I want the love, but I have had my guard up for as long as I could remember (very young age) that I do not know what it is like not to have it up. The longer I keep the waiting, the longer I stay put, the sooner they all walk away.

    Why let them walk away when I am the solution? What is the worst that could happen?

    Some people will enter in and break something, but I am now strong enough to understand that those people are no longer purposeful.

    My wall is coming down in 2018. I know by doing this, only great things will come my way.

     

     

    January 11, 2018

    The Meaning Behind My Blog Name

    Do you ever wonder how people come up with their Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, and Blog names?

    I always do and I thought why not share with all of you the meaning behind Roses & Champagne.

    ___________________

    When I was thinking of a blog name I knew I wanted it to be chic and feminine. I knew I was going to be sharing self-loving and lifestyle posts.

    I wanted the name to represent me but in a different way.

    After a lot of thinking and contemplating I came up with Roses and Champagne.

    Roses (rose) represents me due to a message I received when I was going through a dark path on my journey.

    As I explained in my post “Letting go is hard!” I was speaking with a woman Angela. Angela gave me the following message

    “I see a rose and a trashcan. The rose is you and it is closed very tight. The trashcan is for you to let go of everything and put it in the trashcan. When you start doing that; you/your rose will start to open.” 

    That message stays with me daily and just makes me feel amazing knowing how much I have blossomed.

    Also, another message the Universe provided me with is “Truth and Roses have thorns about them – Henry David Thoreau” 

    The message was on a shirt that I saw shopping. I immediately thought wow that is deep. The crazy thing is I saw this message a little after receiving the message from Angela. Yes, roses now mean so much to me.

     Champagne I feel also represents me. Well… it’s my all-time favorite alcoholic drink. I feel it represents me because once you get to know me I have such a bubbly personality.

    I started playing with the words champagne and rose. I loved the feminine vibe Roses and Champagne sounded so that is where we have come from.

    Many of my family members ask why I address my readers as Blossoms. Here is the reason why.

    Every day we grow into the people we are meant to be. We grow through everything we go through; the good and the bad.

    I strongly believe we all grow at different rates. 

    Therefore I love calling my readers Blossoms because we are all blossoming into who we are.

    Pour yourself a glass of champagne and blossom with me.

    January 9, 2018