“Her heart may be guarded. She may be hesitant when it comes to love, but the woman with the highest wall built in front of her heart is often deserving of the greatest love.” – R.H. Sin
Not everyone suffers from having a guarded heart, but I sure do. To be honest this is one of the biggest obstacles I struggle with. I love and dislike that my heart is guarded. I love it because it is very easy for me to remove people or things with no purpose in my life. I dislike it because it makes me guarded with the people I love the most. I can give out all of my love in a healthy way, but will not accept love from people unless it is on my terms.
Example: if Thomas wants to hug or kiss me and I don’t want him to at that moment I tell him not to touch me. I put a rejection stamp on his heart. To be honest it hurts me that I do that to him because he would never reject me.
Blossoms, you know I love opening up with all of you. I love to face my truths and I am grateful I have Roses and Champagne to do so.
After speaking with all the wonderful women in my life and getting their feedback on being guarded I have come to a realization.
I am going tear my wall down and accept the love from my loved ones.
Picture this; there is a line down the middle I am on one side my loved ones are on the other. Every single person on the other side is waiting for me to cross over and love me deeply. I am going to cross over and accept the love. I want the love, but I have had my guard up for as long as I could remember (very young age) that I do not know what it is like not to have it up. The longer I keep the waiting, the longer I stay put, the sooner they all walk away.
Why let them walk away when I am the solution? What is the worst that could happen?
Some people will enter in and break something, but I am now strong enough to understand that those people are no longer purposeful.
My wall is coming down in 2018. I know by doing this, only great things will come my way.