Waiting to Exhale!

I can be alone with myself, but feeling lonely is one of the hardest things I have been dealing with. Feeling lonely in many different aspects of my life. When you spend the last 7 years with someone, the two of you become a united force. EVERYTHING in my life CHANGED. My daily routine is completely different. Let me take you back a couple months ago…

Back in May I wrote two blog posts Life Update and Getting Through. In those, I did not mention Thomas and I separating. However, I went on social media and announced the reason I was depressed was because of our separation. This new journey has not been easy. It has been messy, confusing, hurtful, loving, guiding, uplifting, and honestly inspiring.

I started dating T when I was 17 years old, I was a damn teenager I didn’t even know who I was. All I knew is that I wanted him in my life and would do anything to keep it that way. I’ve learned so much from our relationship I am beyond grateful for having to get to spend 7 years with him. We had many lows and many highs. Each of those experiences and other life experiences shaped me into the woman I am today.

I don’t even know what to write or what to tell you. All I can tell you is this, never stop! Whatever life obstacle you are going through in your life, don’t stop fighting. YOU GOT THIS! THERE IS A WAY OUT. The way you get out is by fighting! You fight for yourself. You take care of you. You level up as a person. I have and will still make mistakes as I figure out this new way to live life. One thing I do know is where I was a couple months ago (depressed, scared, & lonely) I will not go back in that hole. I dug myself out of course with the help of my family and friends, but I had to do the hard work. I had to face my truths. My fuck ups and why I was in that space in the first place. Once I started to face my own sh*t, I was then able to grow very quickly.

Right now, I am just living my life. There are still days where I get sad and need to cry, but I don’t go into the dark space where I can’t get out of bed. I just feel sad and ask myself “what is a healthy way to get better” I will then go for a run or surround myself with my loved ones.

Just keep fighting for you, love yourself! Self-love is always the answer!

Sorry for being MIA for a very long time, I will get back into it. I promise.

Keep blossoming with me,

July 14, 2018
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