Wow, it’s been a while since I sat down and poured my heart out on the blog. I actually just checked my draft folder and I had 14 drafts unfinished. I had so much to say during the Summer, but I could not find the courage to make it viewable to the public eye. I wanted to talk about all the pain I was dealing with, but I repeatedly said: “Who wants to read about the depressed girl? No one wants to know that I had my heart broken. No one wants to hear about me crying.” I remember saying “I’ve never truly seen a woman close to me who had their heart broken, survive, heal and become all that she wants to be” but I just now realized as I am typing this I AM HER!
My heart was broken, yes I played a part in that, I am not perfect. There were nights I couldn’t breathe from the pain. I felt like my world was ending day after day and night after night. Here I am today, healing and feeling hopeful for what is to come next. I survived. I know it might sound a bit dramatic, but if you ever experienced it, you know the tight feeling in your chest is unbearable. I truly would not wish it on anyone.
It was brought to my attention that I am a role model to others, a lot of people look up to me, and so many girls thought I was living my “best” life. Deep down I was and wasn’t. I was because I had freedom. I had the freedom to do whatever I wanted without worrying about another person’s feelings. I wasn’t because I was falling behind on bills, not paying my rent, working when I felt like it and drinking to numb my pain. Now that, that whole phase is out the window (thank God), here I am ready for the new me.
I am becoming the woman I want to be, not the woman I thought I had to be. There will be many changes happening in my life. Heck, there were so many changes this year. The number of changes in my life and even within me I can’t even count them all. I love this new Alyssa I really do. I am very protective of the new space I am in because it took a lot to create this happy universe within.
I made a promise to myself that when I feel like writing a blog post, I am writing because it’s clearly a message I need to get out. Moving forward nothing will stay as a draft.
As many of you know I move with the Universe and love learning about Astrology. I am going to start sharing a lot more about this because I am always being asked questions. I am also going to start sharing Vegan recipes, maybe once a week.
So yes, stay tuned for much more on the blog! I’m going to bring more life to Roses and Champagne. That is what my blog is about; blossoming. Without rain & sunshine, a flower cannot grow. That is what life is all about. The good and the bad; the beauty and the pain.
I am currently on the plane heading to Florida so stay tuned for that blog post. The weather is expected to be a bit cold there, but hey I need a vacation and seriously it cannot be that cold compared to our New England weather.
Enjoy your weekend, talk to you later xo